It’s been such a long time since I have typed on these pages. I’ve missed it.
I’m sat in a charming local coffee shop, Morten Harkten whining in my ear to ‘Take on Me’, and I’m waiting for a reporter! He’s going to interview me about my ’52 Week’ Portrait Project that’ll I be exhibiting next week at the Windermere Art Fair. Thank you Anne for the introduction and for letting me be part of the fair. I changed my regular outfit of flip flops, jeans and tee to ‘nice’ top, shorts and heels.. hate heels, why did I do that? Wish I’d worn my trainers (sneakers to my American friends) and just been myself…. that means make up free too… I swear I look better without it! I definitely feel better. I suppose I was trying to present my best self but as I type these words I realize my best self comes from the inside and not the outside and it’s what I say and do, not how I look that will help anyone see that.
Actually, I was looking forward to the interview but it was much more of a chat, poor Eric, I’m sure we overran by at least an hour, I wonder if he knew what he was letting himself in for meeting ‘Chatty Cathy’ as I have often been called.
As much as he interviewed me, it was great to verbalize the reasoning behind the project, we talked about him, we talked about art, we talked about life, people and perceptions.. so regardless of the ‘piece’ I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with another artist. His medium being words, mostly, like me he called himself a storyteller, afraid to call himself an artist, as I am.. how can I be an artist when I don’t paint? Are all artists that insecure?
I look forward to the Art Fair and being around the exhibiters, sharing our stories, our inspiration. I miss connecting with other creatives, the sheer energy of the conversation can be food for the soul. At the moment I will talk to anyone, which is great for me but not so great for them.. I’m sure the garage repair guy really doesn’t want to listen to this old girl chatting about anything and everything just for the sake of conversation.. sorry dude and thanks for setting my car up to open the garage door, it’s the little things!
What are the point of my words today? Not really sure I just needed to write them, have that conversation with myself. The portrait project, my 50/50/50, my traveling has all helped me channel this energy I have for telling stories, mine, yours, theirs.. Eric called me a photo journalist, perhaps I am even if I’ve never had the title or been paid for the role. Maybe this is where I need to be, is it too late? I feel too old for everything right now, I have the ambition of a 20 year old, the energy and face of someone considerably older, someone I don’t even recognise anymore. Maybe I still have the energy…
I looked at Eric, this 20 something kid with a cool job, just the start of his career and envied his future, he’s just beginning and there is so much for him to discover. In fact since I arrived in Paloma, the coffee shop, the place is now full of 20 somethings and their Apple Macs, I feel like I’m invading this cool space with my ample years and as per usual I’m feeling a little uncomfortable. Normally I’d just start talking to people and realize I remind myself of my Mum, talking to everyone and mortifying her children with her openness, that’s now me, I am the embarrassing parent! But I also realize she must have been a nervous talker too, I wonder if like me, the more she tried to stop, the more she would talk?
Fortunately, for the millennials around me I am talking to you on here, it’s a safe zone until I press ‘publish’.
Rick Astley is now playing on the radio… I’m transported back to being 11 years old, my first crush, feels like yesterday… he’s never gonna give me up or runaround or desert me.. good to know.
Perhaps I will take his advice and never give up. Never give up being me, seeking more, sharing more, pressing peoples buttons and making them feel like they can tell me their stories. You know I’ll keep sharing mine for those that want to listen, or even if you don’t, I can’t help myself.
