Will I ever love myself?

Will I ever love myself?

I’m talking about weight, body shape the dreaded fat! I don’t want to, I know its dull, but the conversation always ends up there, will we ever learn to just let it go and love ourselves as we are?Two good friends came over for lunch today and inevitably we talk about body shape.  Not in a ‘shaming’ way, we are not malicious types just in a ‘she is this’ and ‘she is that’ and wondering why, how, what is best? We talk about it because we are looking for the secret, how’d she got there, would that work for me.  We all know the answer, it’s what you eat and how much you move and a big dollop of the genes you were born with. You notice it is all ‘She’ and not he, men care, they really do, but not nearly as much as we care, I’m sure your man walks around the bedroom naked and doesn’t give a hoot what you are thinking about his arse! I’m not overweight on paper, I have a healthy and good BMI.  In fact, I am very healthy, something I’m so thankful for and I mentally slap myself in the face every time I look in the mirror or step on the scales and just see imperfection.  I’m not looking to just drop a few pounds I wanna see Heidi Klum’s butt in the mirror reflecting back when I look at mine. You see? It’s insane isn’t it?  We have ourselves set up against these stunning ideals of how we should be. I don’t blame the magazines, I work in the beauty industry.  In...
Day 46 50/50/50 Courtney

Day 46 50/50/50 Courtney

My next subject can only be described as exquisite. We met when I arrived here at a mutual friends art gallery.  The three of us bonded over art, creativity, fine wine and a few story telling tears. A woman of fine taste, immaculately presented, softly spoken, generous and of very good humour.  Her life is colourful and creative, her home an absolute treasure trove of the finest art collection.  This lady is so elegant one might feel intimidated, she makes a dull room look instantly beautiful.  I personally just enjoy her presence for the person she is and wonder at the sight of her, she herself is her own work of art. I do believe she has been on a journey to reach the serenity that presents itself to us today.  Her quiet persona and wonderful presentation have grown with her own confidence and belief in herself.  I imagine a 20 year old Courtney, perhaps not so self assured and maybe still trying to discover her own distinctive style. Name: Courtney Occupation: Fashion designer 1.Where were you born and raised? Saigon, Vietnam – Raised in California, USA ‘We are very close, I grew up in a family of 11 kids.  I had an older half brother and the rest were girls’ ‘My Mother, I found out that her first Husband wasn’t able to have children, she made up for that with my Father.  She came from a big family too.  There were three boys and seven girls.  She was the third oldest.  She always loved a big family, my Mother was the type of person that loves to cook for...
Gwenda  – Fabulous II

Gwenda – Fabulous II

Gwenda Jeffs AKA Vintage Floral Design. This stunning woman, Mother, florist and occasional model embodies women of this generation. Sensitive, strong, able and full of a lust for life. Creativity is what she is all about and life has given her work the edge. Wonderful to photograph, she leaps down the lens and eats it up.   1. In one sentence, tell us who you are and what you do. I’m Gwenda, a floral designer and owner of The Vintage Floral Design Company based in the Garden of England, Kent! 2. What’s the favourite thing about your job? Working in a bespoke way means that no job is ever the same as another, which keeps the creativity flowing and the passion alive. 3. Who do you admire the most in your work? and why? I make a point of not following or being influenced by anyone in my field (see question 8!). I simply admire anyone with follows their creative heart and carves a professional niche that is perfectly ‘them’. 4. How did it feel to be photographed? I’ve done a bit of modelling for photographer friends, but this usually involves getting into a character or theme that allows me to step out of myself for a while. This was a very different experience as I was being ‘me’, albeit a more glamorous version than the usual!  You have to confront your insecurities, but working with a pro like Carey means that it’s not nearly as scary as it seems it might be. 5. Did it improve your confidence? There’s no Magic Bullet when it comes to re-building self...
Clare – Fabulous II

Clare – Fabulous II

Some of the ladies at the ‘Fabulous’ shoot had already subjected themselves to my lenses and others, although we had spoken online before, had yet to meet. I have been asked if I get nervous photographing my peers, especially photographers but the answer really is no.  Once we are in front of the camera most of us have the usual worries and hang ups, we go from smiling and laughing to a terrified falsified pose!  I am talking from my own experience of course. If I have a skill that could be bottled I think its that I put people at ease..probably because I talk so much!  But also because I know how we want to be seen, I know what we don’t like about ourselves and I know how to get the images women want.  There’s nothing I like more than showing an image straight off the back of camera and the reaction being ‘wow, is that me!”. Clare said she doesn’t enjoy being in front of the camera but you’d never know.  She is a sweet package of lovely, the camera loves her face & her hair loves a wind machine! Photographing Clare was very enjoyable, a professional make-up artist, she is fun, bubbly, attractive and great at what she does. Check out her work here: http://clarepinkney.co.uk   Winner – FHA Make Up Artist of the Year 1. In one sentence, tell us who you are and what do you do? I am Clare Pinkney, a professional make-up artist 2. Whats the favourite thing about your job I love the variety of my work, working with brides, giving make-up...
Cary – Fabulous II

Cary – Fabulous II

The lovely Cary from Wales with the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Quiet and beautiful, the camera loves her face.  She has that timeless elegance that just looks peaceful and relaxed when photographed.  She reminds me of Kiera Knightly in Atonement but with a Welsh accent! Cary is a successful photographer, Wife, Mother and friend to many. But not a good navigator..she went all round the houses before she made it to the shoot!  I’m so glad she made it though as it wouldn’t have been the same without her.   1. In one sentence, tell us who you are and what do you do? I’m Cary, I photograph newborns, children and families, and I also do professional headshots. 2. Whats the favourite thing about your job Crikey. Too many to list! I love what I do, and I can’t imagine doing anything else 3. Who do you admire the most in your work? and why? People who follow their vision, who break new ground, who aren’t afraid to be unique. 4. How did it feel to be photographed? It felt a little odd, but in a good way! I’m so used to being on the other side of the camera! 5. Did it improve your confidence? It was an interesting experience, I think all photographers should try it as it’s quite a different perspective to being on the other side of the camera. 6. Would you recommend it to anybody else? Yes, it was great fun! The whole experience of getting prepped, dressed and photographed. 7. Name one thing you love about yourself My sense of humour. I’d...
Nova – Nu Bride Fabulous II

Nova – Nu Bride Fabulous II

This was my first time meeting Nova.  A beautiful young woman with many talents. Editor of Award winning Wedding Blog NuBride, Singer, Therapist and all round fabulous human. Nova‘s mission is to bring all women a just and fair service regardless of race or colour when planning their wedding.  Sadly, & surprisingly the industry still fails people.  Nobody should receive poor treatment at anytime in their lives but when you get engaged you expect the journey to your wedding to be magical..and it is often not. Please visit Novas lovely journal and show support for this stylish young ladies cause. http://nubride.com Here Nova answers a few questions, all her own words. 1. In one sentence, tell us who you are and what do you do? My name is Nova I am founder and editor of wedding blog Nu Bride: dedicated to add a splash of diversity and encourage the mainstream wedding industry to be more inclusive. I am also a therapist and enjoy the occasional sing song! 2. Whats the favourite thing about your job Helping people 3. Who do you admire the most in your work? and why? People who act with integrity, honesty, and people who are willing to try 4. How did it feel to be photographed? Delicious 5. Did it improve your confidence? No, but that’s because my former acting days in front of the camera have hard wired me. Plus Carey makes you feel so comfortable instantly, it’s not intimidating at all, like hanging out with a friend! 6. Would you recommend it to anybody else? Absolutely. I was lucky enough to hang backstage and was watching...