Love letters

Love letters

Just before I travel, especially when alone, I get a bit anxious. Scratch that, very anxious, I curl up like a little ball inside myself and I worry like crazy. People are always surprised to hear that from me, I give off this air of confidence whilst inside I’m churning away, painfully! This trip is a long one.  Probably the longest I have ever left my youngest two kids.  My oldest and I now being accustomed to separation, he lives and works the other side of the world to me.  I say accustomed, but I will never be used to his being so far away and I still get that gut punch feeling every time I think about the distance or how much I miss him. So, why am I rambling this time? Nerves are one thing, we all hate leaving our children.  Flying makes me a little uncomfortable.  I shove the fear far down and try to pretend I am cool with it. My fears are bigger now, the world is a scarier place.  Walking the streets in major cities, going to a concert and just doing ordinary, everyday things can mean real danger.  We can’t protect ourselves from it, we can’t see it coming and its right on most of our doorsteps. I want to leave some words for my children. Y’know in case I don’t get to say it in person.  I constantly tell them I love them, am proud of them but if they ever needed to just read those words, however old they are in years to come, here they are. This isn’t supposed...
Love and Let Live

Love and Let Live

My very recent trip to the UK, albeit fleeting, was a bit of an awakener for me. Quite quickly into the trip I realized who my real friends are, who is genuine & who I should probably leave quite happily to their own life whilst I walk forward into mine. Traveling back on the plane, a nine hour trip, I started to reflect.  We all felt as a family that we had made the right move coming to the USA.  We miss people for sure, that’ll never change but we love our life here. It seems though that our life here is resented by a few. I paint a rosy picture, I am sure, but hey, its real.  No smoke and mirrors for us.  We do have sunshine, great friends, a good life and we worked hard to get it. This post however isn’t about that.  It’s about people and caring what they think of you. I care, far too much and as a result I often get hurt by things people say and do and just how they behave around me.  Women are particularly great in sending out the ‘dislike’ vibe. I just love the ‘look up and down’ when you walk in a room. With all this on my mind and being the caring type I of course start to analyze myself and what’s a day without beating yourself up a few times hey? With my thoughts on the subject of peoples opinions it was interesting to be watching the HBO TV Drama ‘Big Little Lies’ on the plane..I binge watched the entire series.  Loved it. Do make the time to see it. Without...
This new life in the USA

This new life in the USA

I never wanted to be a photographer   It wasn’t a life ambition, not the career I dreamed of at school.  Back in those days I dreamed of being happy, not getting such a hard time, perhaps living a life which had smiles in it.  In fact the only career aspiration I had was to be the next ‘Kate Adie,‘ if you are too young to know who she is feel free to log off now!  Or perhaps a Hollywood actress, there’s still time I might give it a try. Spin back the clock for almost a decade & I started on this path to be a photographer.  I’d already been in Sales & Marketing, having left school and home by 16 I needed a job not a career but had been pretty good at it.  Trained as a florist, started an events company and produced three children..plus a few other sidelines in between..a true ‘female’ Del Boy.  A ‘Jack of All Trades’, & Master of none?  But actually, maybe, I disagree, I mastered the art of moving in the direction that life took me, seeing an opportunity, recognising the skills needed and putting myself out there. Taking pictures came from nowhere..I love advertising and the imagery, posed myself on the odd occasion but held photographers in high regard and didn’t believe that I could be one..with three young children I needed to sell my demanding events & floristry business and found myself needing something more to do. I took myself off to college to study photography, I was 33 years old. A decade ago. Did I become a Master of this one thing?  My photography...
Day 3 505050 UK 2011

Day 3 505050 UK 2011

Day Three: 50 Portraits 50 Days 50mm lens No pre planning, no fixed poses, just people doing their thing..so on the most part they will be strangers, so courage required too! A bit late tonight guys although I took the image first thing this am, manic day and Bride & Groom have been with me for hours, didn’t realise how challenging this sort of project could be. But anyhow, my image is of Emma, she was dropping her children off at Summer Club and clearly pregnant she was also in labour! She has three boys already under 8 years of old and as I started editing her picture I had news that she has just given birth at home to another gorgeous boy Otto!! Well done Emma apologies I made you pose whilst in labour and with no make-up on, but I think you look incredible. xx...
Day 47 50/50/50 Roger

Day 47 50/50/50 Roger

My next subject is retired, an Englishman living in Orlando, spending his days on the Chain of Lakes taking people on tours and showing them the wonderful wildlife and fabulous properties the area has to offer.  Not a bad existence and judging by his relaxed demeanour, fabulous tan and general look of contentment he is enjoying all the benefits.  Roger, his name quite fitting for a his current role in life, has a kind face and a personable disposition, pleasant to be around and a great storyteller.  There are lots of stories to be told when talking about the families that live in the grand mansions that reside in all their splendour on the lake banks of Windermere. He has had many a famous face on his boat and clearly he enjoys the company.  It’s good to hear an Englishman talking, the gruff voice from Burnley still strong despite his many years living here. Name: Roger Occupation: Retired but Runs Orlando Lake Tours.  Previously ran a Promotions Company for National Newspapers 1.Where were you born and raised? Burnley, Lancashire in the UK.  Raised there and lived there for 35 years. Moved to Yorkshire & Isle of Man. ‘I was an only child, just me and my parents and I can never understand brothers and sisters.  I could never understand how my friends who had brothers and sisters were always fighting.’ ‘Very working class, we had a corner shop on a terraced street.  My Mum ran the shop and before that she worked in a mill.  We were a good solid family.’ 2. Tell me a childhood memory. ‘Probably in 1953 we were the...
Day 31 50/50/50 Kelly

Day 31 50/50/50 Kelly

I took my time looking for someone today.  Back in Windermere its a little quieter, Clearwater Beach offered so much more diversity!  Nonetheless there are plenty of people about here with incredible stories I just have to find them. I’m sat on a bench drinking my latte, watching the world go by thinking about who to ask.  Sometimes thinking is the worst thing to do, it stops me approaching people, I think about how many men versus women in the project, older people in ratio to younger, I’m sure no one else is paying attention. There’s a little clothing store for children in front of me, I worry about disturbing people at work but its small and probably quiet as it is lunchtime so I go in and manage to grab a few cute things too..any excuse. Theres a very young lady working behind the counter, very young, I worry that she may be under 18 so unable to talk to me (unless parents are present) turns out she is over 30 so clearly I need some of what she is having. She looks straight out of High School, I tell her this, the sort of girl that comes over to babysit your kids and brings her book bag full of homework.  Her long brown hair normally curly, she tells me, is tucked behind one ear.  She is rightly proud of her lovely long hair, it’s her thing and she won’t be cutting it anytime soon if ever. The store belongs to her, its her 2nd baby, the first, her son Kayden, is in daycare.  A new venture and...